One day a young woman was in her garden digging the weeds. Suddenly she heard a strange noise behind her. She stopped digging the weeds and looked around the garden. There was nobody there. Dismissing what she'd heard, she continued to to dig the weeds. After a few minutes, she heard the noise again. 
"That sounds like a person sneezing!" she exclaimed. "Why is somebody sneezing in my garden?"
She looked around in every direction. She realised that the wheelbarrow had been moved (it was upside down), and it looked as though somebody was hiding beneath it. 
"Out you come!" she shouted, and pulled the wheelbarrow aside. To her horror, she a found a little red man cowering on the grass and shaking. He sneezed once more, and then, before she had time to stop him, he ran out of the garden screaming.
"Stop!" the woman cried, but to no avail. The little red man had legged it good and proper. 

The woman's life continued much as it had before. Every day she went shopping and drank coffee and went to the cinema. She didn't go to work very often, because she'd wisely married a rich old man shortly before he'd died, and had inherited his fortune. She went sometimes though because she liked to mix with people occasionally. 

A few years after the event described above she was in a restaurant with some of her friends. She saw something odd out of the corner of her eye. It was the little red man again after all these years, dancing on a tabletop. 
"That's him!" the woman cried to her friends. They all turned to look. The little red man ran off. 

The woman felt haunted by the memory of this strange man who seemed to have come from nowhere. More years passed and she saw or heard nothing of him.
One day though she went to Bond St. She was walking along, unsure of which shop to go in first, when she saw him, suddenly, on the other side of the road. This time he didn't run off. He stood still and stared at her. Slowly he started unbuttoning his shirt. Then he started pulling down his trousers. 
"Good God!" the woman thought. "He's going to take of his pants!"
And, indeed, that was what the little red man did. 
"I've had enough of this!" said the woman. "It's time to find out who he is!"
She saw him on the other side of the road, naked. She tried to make a dash for him. Unfortunately, a Rolls-Royce was coming along at the same time. It squashed her flat. 


What's the moral of this tale?
(Tab down)












(Keep going)









Boom boom! It's NEVER CROSS THE ROAD WHEN THE LITTLE RED MAN IS FLASHING!